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Traveling Light: Practical Forgiveness (Book Review of Forgiveness by Iyanla Vanzant)

Traveling Light: Practical Forgiveness
Book Review – Forgiveness: 21 Days to Forgive Everyone of Everything (Smiley Books, 2013)

“Healing is the journey. The destination is yourself. The full recognition of all the different aspects of yourself—your joy, your sorrow, your pain, your pleasure—all lead you to the source of who you are. Only by having intimate contact with this source can you experience the fullness of your life. Only by fearlessly looking within can you embrace the landscape of your life and open yourself completely to all the love and compassion that lives inside you.” -Philip Berk

Forgiveness: 21 Days to Forgive Everyone for Everything by Iyanla Vanzant is the sojourner’s guide to joyful adventure. While the text seems to be better suited as a life traveler’s orientation workbook, the ready reader-participant will almost immediately appreciate the enrichment of having gone through the swamp, those challenging life experiences, before reaching the light.

I was eager to pick up this book, having read several by Iyanla, over the years, and after developing a relationship of trust with her writing. No stranger to the power of forgiveness, energy healing techniques, personal empowerment practices and mindful living, I felt prepared for the intensive work. Forgiveness brings clarity, focus, vitality, freedom and empowerment, all conditions I need to create the life of my dreams. Indigenous people around the globe have practiced forgiveness and reconciliation, like the ancient Hawaiian practice of Hoʻoponopono. Like so many of our ancient traditions, we have forgotten why and how we forgive. Forgiveness reminds us who we are and why we are here.

Photo credit: Sunshine Allison

Through engagement in the activities outlined in the book, Iyanla facilitates the development of a forgiveness practice. Martin Luther King, Jr. stated that “Forgiveness is not an occasional act, it is a constant attitude.” The practice of forgiveness trains the “puppy mind” that has the tendency to bounce all over the place. Iyanla begins the book with her own personal revelations, remembering, rescripting and release. (I was particularly moved by her opening with forgiving herself for judging the women who mothered her. When we forgive, we realize that everyone and everything is just as it should be.) Twenty-one days to forgive everyone for everything might seem too little for some and excessive for others, depending on self-awareness, vibration and the quality of life experiences. However, the book offers supportive structure to releasing the emotion charge that drives us in our lives.

Why 21 days? The theory is that it takes at least 21 days to develop a new habit. Some discount that theory as myth. Some research submits that it takes at least 66 days to foster a new pattern. Whatever the magic number, it takes discipline and commitment to create the positive shift we seek and transform our lives.

In 21 days, Iyanla guides us to forgiving ourselves as well as everyone and everything we can think of. Iyanla suggests that we allocate about 30-60 minutes a day for daily forgiveness process – time for meditation, prayer, journaling and drafting forgiveness statements, in addition to other healing activities. Progressive Emotional Freedom Technique is appropriately incorporated into this forgiveness practice. (Iyanla Vanzant is a certified expert in Pro-EFT. For Pro EFT resources, see: http://www.proeft.com.)

Tapping was introduced to me by Nick Ortner with the Tapping Solution. The tapping process is a gentle and strategic method of loosening the soil around the buried or rooted thoughts, wounds, judgment, emotions or belief. It is a physical and psychological process that supports the flow of energy, based in ancient Chinese acupressure. Pro EFT is a useful tool for processing any of life challenges. Tapping for forgiveness reveals the negative physical impact of toxic thoughts and beliefs patterns.

By the end of the book, after mindfully working through the process and observing results, you feel restored and revitalized. You realize that forgiveness is about self, about what we think, feel and believe about ourselves. Forgiveness is not about acquiescing to an opponent. It is not an action taken by the passive or weak. It is a warrior’s move. Forgiveness is a beautiful and sacred process of claiming freedom. Forgiveness is an integral aspect of self-mastery.

I received a complimentary copy of this book from Hay House for review purposes. The opinions are completely my own based on my personal experience.

Photo credit: Aaliyah Phillips

Forgiveness can be purchased through Hay House, Amazon or Barnes and Noble.

For more resources for Iyanla Vanzant, see: iyanlavanzant.com and http://innervisionsworldwide.com.

“Don’t believe everything you think.” – Byron Katie

Category:

Abundance, Affirmation, Awareness, Healing, Intention, Joy, Love

Kwanzaa 7: Light the Way

For me, observing the seven days of Kwanzaa is a joyful and mindful way in which to ring in the new year. An African American and Pan African celebration established in 1966, Kwanzaa features seven universal principles, referred to as the Nguzu (or Nguzo) Saba.

Kinara – Kwanzaa 2013

Day 1 – Umoja (Unity): Celebrating oneness. Whether we are working together in a team and playing harmoniously or resisting and combatting, we are one…Interconnected and interdependent. Promote inclusivity. Separation is illusion. We decide how we experience this world. Together, we rise. Come, unify. One community.

Harambe for the Holidays at the Attucks (Norfolk, VA – Photo credit: Charlene Taylor, 2013)

Day 2 – Kujichagulia (Self-Determination): Celebrating sovereignty! Know yourself, identify yourself, define yourself, empower yourself, free yourself. Craft your own narrative. You determine your destiny. Take ownership of your life. Exercise your personal power. Know your potential. We are co-creators of the world we live in, social entrepreneurs.

Day 3 – Ujima (Collective Work & Responsibility): Celebrating Social Responsibility! Yes, our actions matter…And, our work has resonant impact. What we do in unison has broader implications and greater sustainability. Genuine teamwork promotes mutual understanding, acceptance, patience, creativity, compassion and profound social development. Be solution-oriented. Share information. Value service. Appreciate one another. Be authentic. Honor yourself. Articulate gratitude. Lift as you climb. Each one teach one. Love into strength. Inspire, encourage, motivate and elevate. We rise. One.

Day 4 – Ujamaa (Cooperative Economics): Celebrating abundance! We have everything we need, and will ever need, when resources are allocated appropriately and nature is in balance. The emphasis is on cooperation, communication and collaboration instead of competition, domination or exploitation. Competition-based and exploitation-based economic systems are born of fear and lack and produce inefficiencies, disease, pollution and social inequality. Know your worth. Nurture strengths. Participate. Develop your ideas. Honor interests. Trust your gut. Give, and receive. Value diversity. Innovate with intention. Find your flow. Grow love.

Day 5 – Nia (Purpose): Celebrating Human Agency! Agency involves intention, foresight, self-regulation and self-reflectiveness. As agents you have the capacity to make choices. As agents, you are engaged in your own development. To discover your purpose, open your mind…free your heart…explore new horizons…be in the experience…journal your interactions, thoughts and feelings…express yourself…listen actively…practice wellness…engage. Realize that you are endowed with the potential to heal, solve, restore, reconcile, unite, integrate, expand and uplift. Center yourself and know your role, your gifts, your mission. Choose to live with intention, versus by default. Live on purpose.

African Dance – Washington DC (2013)

Day 6 – Kuumba (Creativity): Celebrating artistic expression! We are co-creators here. We are each original in our being. In expressing ourselves, manifesting our dreams, channeling our vitality, we bring to fruition art that inspires, soothes, links, harmonizes, brings perspective, offers solutions and empowers. Enthusiasm stimulates flow…Be enthusiastic! Get grounded, be passionate and lead with your heart. Be mindful, and grateful. Engage your senses. Witness the synergy. Our creative expression transcends boundaries. Experiment…Stretch…Shape…Polish. Create without limits. Enjoy! It’s all good!

Day 7 – Imani (Faith): Celebrating our Divinity! Faith is knowing that anything and everything is possible. Faith is belief without need for proof. Faith is embracing the moment…Knowing that time and space are imaginary…Knowing that separation is illusion. It takes lion’s courage to know without the evidence to support. To be faithful, is to be joyful. To be faithful, is to be peaceful.

Imani is realizing that the Kwanzaa principles are inextricably linked…That without faith, there is no real movement forward and upward. Imani is knowing that solidarity within the African diaspora is critical for the restoration of harmony and balance for humanity in the world. Authentic Black power is a healing balm, not just for the African diaspora, but for all inhabitants of earth.

May we remember that the 7 principles of Kwanzaa are universal and are an intricate part of our lives throughout the year. Cheers to a marvelous new year!

African Traditions – Washington DC (2013)

Category:

Abundance, Affirmation, Awareness, Healing, Intention, Joy, Love

I’m Every Woman: International Women’s Day 2013

Half the Sky Movement

International Women’s Day, observed on March 8 since the early 1900’s, raises awareness of the status of women worldwide, petitions leadership to dismantle oppressive and exploitative structures, signals to humanity the need for public action and cultural shifts, and solicits the support of men in the movement to foster peace, balance and harmony.

The 2013 International Women’s Day theme established by the United Nations is, A Promise is a Promise: Time for Action to End Violence Against Women.

Resources:
International Women’s Day – Resource Hub
CNN Report on International Women’s Day 2013
Google on International Women’s Day
United Nations – Women Watch
National Women’s History Project – International Women’s Day
Half the Sky Movement: Turning Oppression into Opportunity for Women Worldwide

“The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world.” – William Ross Wallace

“When you call yourself an Indian or a Muslim or a Christian or a European, or anything else, you are being violent. Do you see why it is violent? Because you are separating yourself from the rest of mankind. When you separate yourself by belief, by nationality, by tradition, it breeds violence. So a man who is seeking to understand violence does not belong to any country, to any religion, to any political party or partial system; he is concerned with the total understanding of mankind.” – J. Krishnamurti (The same for separation between man and women.)

“I do not wish them to have power over men, but over themselves.” -Mary
Wollstonecraft

“Every time we liberate a woman, we liberate a man.” -Margaret Mead

“The world has never yet seen a truly great and virtuous nation because in the
degradation of woman the very fountains of life are poisoned at their source.”
-Lucretia Mott

“I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes
enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does
not believe me naïve or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.”
-Anaïs Nin

“Feminism is the radical notion that women are people.” -Cheris Kramarae and
Paula Treichler

“Women have been taught that, for us, the earth is flat, and that if we venture
out, we will fall off the edge.” -Andrea Dworkin

“Oppresive language does more than represent violence; it is violence; does more than represent the limits of knowledge; it limits knowledge.” – Toni Morrison

Save Sharmila Solidarity Campaign Meeting - India

Save Sharmila Solidarity Campaign – India (kanglaonline.com)

In what ways do you promote equity and justice for the women in your life? What cultural shifts can we make, in solidarity, to restore peace, harmony and balance to the world??

Category:

Affirmation, Awareness, Healing, Intention, Love

Here & Now: Black History Month 2013

I, a self-identified Black AND African American woman, who knows herself universally and as a global citizen, still like Black History Month. Black History Month, or African American History Month as it is also called, is like my birthmonth. I personally celebrate my life, my individual culture and accomplishments daily, however my birthmonth concentrates fully on me and my development.

In a society that minimizes the sheer power of self-acceptance, self-identity, self-love, self-expression and self-knowlege, it is of critical importance to schedule regular tune-ups. My birthmonth is my scheduled tune-up. My well-being does not just serve me, it serves the world. When I am strong, clear and present, I am more purposeful, efficient, instrumental, productive and constructive.

In the last few yew years, there have been some public discussion exploring whether there is value to the recognition month or whether it is still relevant today. For me, there is no question that Black History Month is valuable in America, moreover worldwide. Certainly we should reflect on how the observance of the month has evolved, and what it means for the progress of African Americans and all of humanity. The question for me in 2013 is not whether we should still celebrate Black History Month, it is how do we, as a society, press forward towards promoting a popular culture that supports the development and well-being of all when we are caught in a political and economic spin.

As I child growing up in the 70’s and coming of age in the 80’s in South Jersey, Black History Month was my access to knowledge and resources withheld. In my home, there were no family discussions about prominent and successful African Americans (or anybody for that matter), nor were there conscious discussions about social struggle despite intensely living the struggle. We operated on a daily basis without vision, purpose or direction. We indulged in popular culture with no intent on defining or developing ourselves. Sadly, for many I grew up with, subsistence living is the fabric of their being and they continue to resist their own development and prosperity.

Black History Month, like my birthmonth and other celebrated observances, supports my foundation. Grounding is critical to living an authentic and empowered life. Without a firm foundation, I could not manifest my own destiny, live joyfully or realize my potential.

Black History Month has been one of the many channels of information that strengthen the context in which I live in this world. It has given me access to people and opportunities. It has been a bridge to understanding, expanding my worldview and connecting with others. If Black History Month has limitations, it is because we have self-imposed limitations. Let’s be more visionary and intentional in shaping a nurturing, inclusive and sustainable society.

Al Jazeera’s The Stream presents a brief, yet dynamic conversation on the topic.

Other Black History Month resources:
http://asalh.org/blackhistorythemes.html
http://www.africanamericanhistorymonth.gov/
http://www.smithsonianeducation.org/heritage_month/bhm/index.html
http://www.history.com/topics/black-history-month/

How do we show love to Black people in our daily living? How do we demonstrate appreciation and gratitute to the contributions of Black people in America and throughout the diaspora to the quality of our lives around the world?

Category:

Affirmation, Awareness, Healing, Intention

Culture, Margins and Talking Back

This has to be one of the sweetest Love Fest (commonly known as Valentine’s Day) greetings I’ve ever received. ❤

“Without justice there can be no love.” – bell hooks

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“The transformative power of love is not fully embraced in our society because we often wrongly believe that torment and anguish are our ‘natural’ condition.” – bell hooks

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“Honesty and openness is always the foundation of insightful dialogue.” – bell hooks

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“I entered the classroom with the conviction that it was crucial for me and every other student to be an active participant, not a passive consumer…education as the practice of freedom…. education that connects the will to know with the will to become. Learning is a place where paradise can be created.” – bell hooks

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“I want there to be a place in the world where people can engage in one another’s differences in a way that is redemptive, full of hope and possibility. Not this ‘In order to love you, I must make you something else.’ That’s what domination is all about, that in order to be close to you, I must possess you, remake and recast you.” – bell hooks

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“When we drop fear, we can draw nearer to people, we can draw nearer to the earth, we can draw nearer to all the heavenly creatures that surround us.” – bell hooks

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“For me, forgiveness and compassion are always linked: how do we hold people accountable for wrongdoing and yet at the same time remain in touch with their humanity enough to believe in their capacity to be transformed?” – bell hooks

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“I want there to be a place in the world where people can engage in one another’s differences in a way that is redemptive, full of hope and possibility. Not this “In order to love you, I must make you something else”. That’s what domination is all about, that in order to be close to you, I must possess you, remake and recast you.” – bell hooks

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“Justice demands integrity. It’s to have a moral universe — not only know what is right or wrong but to put things in perspective, weigh things. Justice is different from violence and retribution; it requires complex accounting.” – bell hooks

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“Dominator culture teaches all of us that the core of our identity is defined by the will to dominate and control others. We are taught that this will to dominate is more biologically hardwired in males than in females. In actuality, dominator culture teaches us that we are all natural-born killers but that males are more able to realize the predator role. In the dominator model the pursuit of external power, the ability to manipulate and control others, is what matters most. When culture is based on a dominator model, not only will it be violent but it will frame all relationships as power struggles.” – bell hooks

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Get hooksed on bell.

Articles by bell hooks in Shambhala Sun.

Love Fest – Loving you fiercely, and self best. ❤

What feeds your soul? What makes your heart sing??

Category:

Awareness, Healing, Love

Let’s Imagine a Man in Love with Himself

In 2002, I discovered a book entitled Imagine a Woman in Love with Herself: Embracing Your Wisdom and Wholeness (Conari Press, 1999). Growing through some self-esteem and relationship issues myself at the time, I purchased the book for myself, but with the intent to use it as a basis for a self-development workshop for collegiate women. The book by Patricia Lynn Reilly is a marvelously empowering collection of 20 self-affirming, honoring, healing and nurturing statement clusters and exercises.

I remember feeling as though I unearthed an ancient treasure. Why I ever let that book out of my sight, I don’t know. Time would reveal that affirmations support alignment and I, obviously, needed checkpoints. I would later take several slight, but dramatic detours.

Several years, and many experiences, later, all I can think about is a world where men realized their true power. I wonder what the world would be if men embraced their true essence, expressed themselves and followed their bliss. I imagine a man in love with himself.

In the self-help/self-improvement section of book stores, rarely if ever do I find resources encouraging men to find themselves, become one with their personal essence, seek inner knowledge or connect with nature. There’s no space for men to process their childhood experiences without stigma. It’s as though the world believes men are soul-less machines. It’s no wonder many are ticking bombs.

I am a feminist and because of that, I’ve had men say that I hate them. That has never been the case. Father, brother, cousin, lover, friend…I see them in their highest light and expect them to rise to the occasion.

“My willingness to be intimate with my own deep feelings creates the space for intimacy with another.” -Shakti Gawain

“Your problem is you’re … too busy holding onto your unworthiness.”  -Ram Dass

“Scarcity of self value cannot be remedied by money, recognition, affection, attention or influence.” –Gary Zukav

“Too many people overvalue what they are not and undervalue what they are.” -Malcolm S. Forbes

What messages do you send the men in your life? In what ways do you support their healing??

Category:

Affirmation, Awareness, Healing, Intention, Love

Cleansing the Temple: Flushing Toxins, Expressing Life

During the second half of 2012, I began intense cleansing of my whole being. I discovered that I was physically, mentally and emotionally encumbered by sludge that accumulated within and around me over the decades. Until now, I had not fully released the toxins because the filter I was still using was a hand-me-down from generations before me. When I began experiencing difficulty recognizing myself, I understood that what I needed was a master cleanse.

As anyone who knows me knows, as I receive clarity, I act. By nature, I am decisive and responsive. On those important life matters, there’s no time to delay. I follow each resolution with an immediate action, communicating my commitment to the universe.

In this case, I needed some direction. I immediately turned my focus inward. Like an armadillo, I know how to preserve myself. Drawing from my intuition, I welcomed new figures into my realm of being, and became active in communities that could support my well-being and positive development.

In that process, I connected with Cinnamon Manicini of the Progressive Movement Center as well as Triné Eich-Koehn and Denise Buttel of the Reiki Wellness and Meditation Center. I also joined forces and regularly retreat with a goddess sisterhood/study group. I teamed up with Vertekul for crossfit action. And, through dance instructor Sunshine, I encountered Sistah Vickie, nutritional health and lifestyle wellness coach.

In an effort to rid my body of stubborn residue, this January, I committed to a 28 – day detox cleanse with Sistah Vickie’s guidance and support. I thought it was going to be a proverbial piece of cake since I had completed various cleanse programs and maintained a pescetarian diet for more than 20 years. With this cleanse, items restricted from my nutrition plan included 1) gluten, 2) dairy 3) alcohol 4) corn and 5) soy. Sistah Vickie, and her team of health practitioners, also suggested that I avoid night shades, high glycemic fruits, nuts and vegetables as well as mushrooms/fungi. Despite not feeling any sense of deprivation, the cleanse turned out not to be as simple as I believed.

Working with Sistah Vickie on the cleanse provided me the nutritional support and affirmation I had been seeking. The cleanse was more than a fitness plan, but a course in intergrative nutrition. I gained an expanded health network, and raised my awarenss of food corruption. I even started a series of colon hydrotherapy treatments to accelerate detoxification.

The benefits of cleansing are countless. The exercise in discipline affirms self-worth. Focus sets manifestation in motion. Making healthy choices is grounding, fortifying and stabilizing. The practice of cleansing is clearing, refreshing and invigorating.

“A healthy social life is found only, when in the mirror of each soul the whole community finds its reflection, and when in the whole community the virtue of each one is living.” – Rudolph Steiner

“The food you eat can be either the safest and most powerful form of medicine or the slowest form of poison.” Dr. Ann Wigmore

“To keep the body in good health is a duty, for otherwise we shall not be able to trim the lamp of wisdom, and keep our mind strong and clear. Water surrounds the lotus flower, but does not wet its petals.” ~Buddha

What do you do to cleanse your mind, body and spirit?

In what ways do your networks support your well-being, mission and purpose??

Category:

Abundance, Affirmation, Awareness, Healing, Intention, Love

Musings: Robert “Bob” Nesta Marley (6 Feb 1945 – 11 May 1981)

Art by Tim Saunders

Happy Earth Light to Bob Marley! Your torch will forever brighten our way.

Like the seasons, he came and went. Gone at 36 years young, he nevertheless transformed the world. His magnanimous music resounds today, revealing material evidence of his mystical footprint. Burdened and tormented, duppy conquerer Marley brought to us the Balm of Gilead and left us a legacy of love. This rastaman’s vibrations, raised ours in more ways than we count.